MADEIRAN MEDDLINGS

It doesn’t take long to realize that Madeira is a fantastically beautiful island resort, blessed with sub tropical weather and serious natural beauty. Everywhere you look and take the full 360 degrees I guarantee you will be awestruck. Words like awesome. amazing and beautiful tend to be a little over used, especially on holiday, but Madeira proves that there are still places that you can use those words legitimately. It is truly awesome and magnificently photogenic, whatever you might want from it. Mountains, ocean, history, tourism, fishing, agriculture, colour, cruise destination and many etcs.

Ok so the island is incredibly hilly, no problem at all but remember you have been told! Do not come back and complain about it. It’s a volcanic rock in the middle of the ocean, it is thereby hilly. Before you say, Oh nobody would complain about that, check out any hotel review on Trip Advisor, almost all start with statements like ; Was at the top of a hill, Coach could not get right to the door, We are in our 60’s the place was not for us because we couldn’t get about.

Yes the average age of the tourists is over 50 and over 60 when there is a cruise ship in, therefore the overall behavior of the holidaymakers is a little different to a lot of other holiday destinations with far fewer kids and overall a better atmosphere.

€​ 2.15 for a 15 minute long, white knuckle ride, better than any ride at Blackpool or Alton Towers and plenty of different ones to choose from. Pay just slightly more and it can last up to 45 minutes. Tremendous value, unheard of anywhere else in the world. Take a local bus! Choose the longest, oldest looking bus with the youngest looking inexperienced looking driver!!

Have you ever been to a holiday destination where the MacDonalds doesn’t open until 10 am?

Remember before you are reminded, constantly, that a) football is incredibly important on this tiny island with 2 major teams in the Portugese League coming from Madeira and b) Cristiano Ronaldo was born on the island!

Most tourist attractions are so well worthwhile that this next bit doesn’t matter….. To almost all Portugese marketing and tourist brochures and tour guides, Madeira is home to the highest of this, the top of this, the biggest of that. No more I must say than other places but if these facts and figures are important to you and Wikipedia is not readily available knock the figure down four or five places for realism!

Funchal’s airport runway has been extended by 1000 metres but is still incredibly short. Cliffs, wind and ocean make the approach and landing one of the most difficult in Europe. That is purely for your information and may even encourage you to check out the window seat. Or it may not!

There is what seems a highly unlikely union between Madeira and Venezuela. After all they don't even speak the same language. There is also a connection with Christopher Columbus, apart from the life size replica of Santa Maria that goes dolphin watching as a 'tour boat'. The two facts however are linked. Columbus's first wife was Portugese and one of his exploratory Trans Atlantic trips was sponsored by the Portugese government and started from Madeira. This was his one and only trip that made landfall on the mainland of South America in what is now Venezuela and as such he became one of the first Europeans in South America. (Incidentally it was also the first non island landfall of his whole exploratory career!!)

The island has a whale museum, because whaling was very big business when it was allowed to be.

Visit the peasants/farmers market in Funchal to be absolutely amazed at the local produce. Fish, meat, fruit and vegetables that I know you won’t have seen the like of. Be curious at lunch time and come out well, if a little strangely fed!

Camara de Lobos is the most beautiful place you will ever get to see!! Winston Churchill was inspired by its beauty and displayed that inspiration in his paintings. There is a restaurant that is called Churchill’s Place but I suspect that the thing that makes this town so popular may not even be its beauty or its inspiring landscapes. This town is the historic and traditional birthplace of Poncha, the local ‘fire water’ made with local rum and honey. There are 7 places in the town centre that claim to sell the ‘real’ original. Hey try them all or at least a different way of preparing it in each one!!


Click anywhere here for a bonus album "The Critters of Madeira ~ Tongue in Cheek"